Interview: Molly Seidel On Getting Healthy Again Physically + Mentally

"Looking back, I should’ve taken more time to process what had happened after the Olympics. It was such an enormously positive experience that I think it made me forget how difficult it was going into it...I do think you have to be able to take that time to figure out why you’re in this sport and why you enjoy doing this and how you’re going to take everything forward from there.”

Molly Seidel returns to the CITIUS MAG Podcast. We just recorded this at The Running Event in Austin, Texas where we partnered with PUMA Running to host a group run, tape a live podcast and follow around the PUMA Elite women before they won Cross Champs. Kyle Merber and I really enjoyed this conversation with Molly as we caught up on a lot from the past year including how she handled some lows in her running due to injury and mental health struggles. She’s doing much better and I’m excited about what’s to come with her in 2023.

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The following parts have been transcribed from the interview and edited lightly for clarity. 

Chris Chavez: Looks like you’re back to training. Can you share an update with us on how you’re doing?

Molly Seidel: Things have been going really well. I've been back running consistently for about a month now. I'm really grateful that I had the time and the space to be able to take the time that I needed to get healthy and back to the place where the mind is feeling good, the body is feeling good and the brain is feeling good. Luckily for me, the mileage comes back really easily. The speed will come back in the workouts. That's one of the things I have to work on mentally – OK, it's a process. I'm coming back from a pretty significant injury and a pretty bad spot earlier in the year. Knowing that I'm not going to be back to whipping out miles at 5:10 pace in Flagstaff yet. It's all a process. Luckily, it's come back a lot easier to run 130 miles a week than I thought it would."

Chris Chavez: What was the goal of the first race back at the BAA Half? You were pretty honest about it afterward on Instagram and I think it's important for people to realize that sometimes athletes don't have to hit home run after home run in every race. 

Molly Seidel: Honestly, that’s one of the things that we need to have a better appreciation of in this sport. I think a lot of pros are frankly afraid of racing at sub-optimal fitness because they’ll go and immediately get torn apart online. It sucks. It’s hard to go out and know you’re the Olympic bronze medalist and you’re getting last in the pro field. But that’s something Jon (Green) and I have always done in our race buildups. I almost had to walk at The Great North Run Half Marathon last year coming off of the Olympics. It’s nice to be able to go out and check your ego and all of this fitness is a process. Just because I’ve won an Olympic medal doesn’t mean I can show up to the line without training and whip out incredible times. It’s a process and remembering that going into these early season races without much training at all helps keep that fresh in my brain. This takes work.

Kyle Merber: Do you think that plays into why a lot of athletes are unwilling to race as often as maybe would best prepare them for the races that do matter at the end of the season?

Molly Seidel: I think you put it perfectly. It’s almost this feeling about having to be apologetic about going out and racing less than your best. I don’t think that’s the point of racing. I love racing. I feel that I am a much better racer than I am a time trialer. It’s the kind of thing where if you race a lot at whatever fitness you’re at, you get that experience that you get to transfer into when you are really fit and you can lead that into better races. I think there needs to be more compassion out there for everyone. I even see that among amateur runners. There are people who are afraid to go out there and have fun and do this. At the end of the day, racing is about having fun and doing what we love. You don’t have to go out and PR every time. I do think there is an overfocus on times in this sport. Sometimes you need to be able to go out and race just for the hell of racing.

Kyle Merber: Do you find a lot of value in being around a lot of runners or do you find yourself needing to get away a little bit?

Molly Seidel: It kind of depends on where I’m at. This summer, I had to get away from running a little bit. Not being able to race World Champs this summer was really, really hard. I needed to get away from running for a little bit. I still watched the races. Now that I’m feeling a lot better and doing all the work that I’ve needed to – getting back to those environments and being at events like this and meeting real people in the sport is refreshing. I had a lot more of that when I was living in Boston. I was training with more amateur runners so I was just in the community a lot more. Whereas Flagstaff is a lot of pro runners and is very concentrated. Don’t get me wrong, we are the worst so it’s really nice to see normal people who have normal jobs who are going out and running because they love it.

Chris Chavez: You talked about getting your mental health back to a state where you were ready to race and train at a high level. It took some time. You previously discussed the weight of the Olympics and not realizing the toll it had taken on you. Looking back, what would you have done differently?

Molly Seidel: Looking back, I should’ve taken more time to process what had happened after the Olympics. It was such an enormously positive experience that I think it made me forget how difficult it was going into it – having qualified for the Olympics and then going straight into a global pandemic. Training and racing the Olympics during a pandemic was, frankly, a really, really difficult experience. It was really stressful. After I got back, there was so much hype and excitement after what had happened. I didn’t take the time to think, ‘Wow. That was really hard.’ I just kept backsliding and backsliding. Through the Boston build, I just didn’t have anything left to give. Combine that with the hip problem I was dealing with, it was just this feeling of me wondering, ‘Why can’t I go to the well anymore?’ I really pride myself on being tough in races. All of a sudden, that is just gone. You find you can’t dig anymore and have to refill that well back up – I know I’m mixing metaphors here. I do think you have to be able to take that time to figure out why you’re in this sport and why you enjoy doing this and how you’re going to take everything forward from there.

Chris Chavez: It’s very easy to declare that ‘X athlete is BACK!’ and that might be a thing in your next good race. But I also think it’s important to have an understanding that getting to that point takes time. 

Molly Seidel: It can take some time. That’s the thing that a lot of us forget. Ultimately, all of this is a process. We like to imagine that because of one good race or one bad race, that’s what defines us. Now it is that way where every time I show up to race, it will always be titled ‘Molly Seidel Olympic bronze medalist.’ That comes with a weight of expectation to it. It’s being able to have a good enough sense of self that where I’m at is dependent on my training and my mentality. Just because you have one good race doesn’t better or worse than you were before.

For some of this, it takes a development of that sense of self. That’s something that I’ve worked hard on to find myself outside of those accomplishments. Defining yourself by those accomplishments will destroy you ultimately. You’ll just always be trying to reach for this thing that others try to describe you by – which may not actually be you. I know that’s a fluffy ephemeral thing. At the end of the day, I still have the exact same goals in this sport that I had before I stepped to the line at the Olympic marathon. None of that changed on that day. It’s just how people see me. If they want to see me that way? Sure! I’ve always seen myself in the exact same way.

Kyle Merber: Do you find a lot of value in doing a lot of things that distract you from running? It takes a lot of time to run 130 miles a week. What are you doing besides running?

Molly Seidel: I think the word ‘to distract from running’ isn’t necessarily true. I think it’s important to have that sense of self outside of running and realize you’re more than just a sport. I think that’s kind of what led to a little bit of my mental crash. I just tied up everything. When everything started to go so well, I thought, ‘The only thing I can be is a runner now.’ It starts to eat away at you a little bit. Trying to keep those things and see myself as a friend, girlfriend and daughter. I do all these other things. I’m in school. I’m trying to get my pilot’s license. It’s not necessarily to take away from the running but things that I can see myself as outside of this sport. In the times when running isn’t necessarily at the forefront, I don’t feel aimless in the world. Running is a big part though. There are a lot of eggs in this basket.

Chris Chavez: I need to hear more about this pilot’s license…

Molly Seidel: I fly a tiny little Cessna. I have an old flight instructor named Fred who is so mean but I love him to death. I haven’t gotten to fly in a bit because the weather’s been a bit crappy.

Chris Chavez: Is the dream to fly yourself to a race and come off the plane and onto the start line?

Molly Seidel: That’s Jon’s dream. He’s like, ‘We can just fly to Portland Track Festival!’ I say, ‘You just don’t want to have to pay for flights!’

For more from our conversation with Molly listen to the latest episode of THE CITIUS MAG Podcast. If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving us a nice review and rating on Apple Podcasts. This allows new people to discover the show and helps showcase to sponsors and partners why storytelling like this is important.

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🙏 Chris Chavez (@ChrisChavez)